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Wia
Kotze I call my story the "Quail Trail". For those of you who don't know the story of the Quails... I call my CI buddies the Quails or Kwartels (Afrikaan for Quail) because we have an Afrikaan saying that goes (literally translated) "As deaf as a quail".. .[Editor's note: Parts 1 and 2 of The Quail
Trail are available to read at http://www.saywhatclub.com/newsletter/sept01/wia.htm; Part FiveNightmare at Newark! Before I departed from South Africa a lot of my friends were concerned about how I would manage on my own on this trip without someone to assist me when I needed someone else's "ear" to listen on my behalf. I was not too concerned about this because I am rather assertive and just said that I know I will be able to cope and if it came to the worst there's always pen and paper. Famous last words!! At my departure from South Africa and going to Canada my friends made sure I got the needed assistance at the airports and literally took me by the hand to see that I at least got to the right desk to book in or told the people on the curb that I was "deaf" and needed assistance. I had no problems at Jan Smuts airport in Johannesburg nor at Newark when I left for Canada. So after my tearful, my sad goodbye to Cher at Pearson International Airport in Toronto I was confident that I'd "been there, done that". I easily found my way to the right departure terminal, refused to go through the scanner and allowed them to wand me once again and told the lady at the desk where I was going to sit so she could get hold of me should there be any flight changes, etc. She complied to this request and I was asked again to board the flight ahead of the other passengers. About fifteen minutes after the scheduled departure time the plane taxied out on the runway and there we sat45 minutes later an announcement came over the PA system and I could not make out a word. The lady next to me was a young Chinese girl and she gave me a blank look when I asked her what the announcement was but a moment later the plane started moving again. Then I realised that we were on our way back to the airport! Everybody piled out and I grabbed my hand luggage without waiting for support and disembarked. By the time I got to the information desk the queue was at least ten deep with irritated passengers all trying to get the attention of the two ladies manning the desk. Another airline lady was babbling her heart out trying to explain what was going on but since I was in the back row I could not lip-read well enough to understand what she was saying. Eventually I got hold of a young girl who
had talked to me while I was waiting to board before I embarked.
She was in a hurry and just told me that there was a delay and
that she must be off to try and get another connecting flight
since she was going to miss her connecting flight in Newark and
off she went. My next move was to get to the "desk"
lady again. I eventually grabbed her at the elbow and blurted
out that I was deaf and would like to know what was going on.
Her reply: "Just sit down over there: We know about you!"
Pointing to what I assumed was an Indian lady (she was dressed
in a Sari) seated a few paces away. Duh!! "Okay," I thought. "I will give you time to help these other people, but you will hear from me again soon," and sat down. I tried to talk to the "Indian" lady only to get that blank "non-comprehendo" stare again!! So I shut up and waited After about another hour I was still unaware of the reason for the delay. I tried to speak to various other passengers but they either did not know or seemed uninterested in talking to me once I told them I was hearing challenged! At last a friendly gentleman told me that we would possibly be delayed for FIVE HOURS "due to the weather" in Newark. The only consolation was that we could use our boarding passes to get a free drink and a snack. "Thank you very much!!" Then I realised I HAD to get hold of my friend's daughter, Merle, who would be meeting me "on the curb" when I got to Newark because it was very awkward to find parking with all the building alterations at the airport. That's when the nightmare started! Not being in the habit of making telephone calls I had my diary with all the contact numbers in my suitcase that was on the plane and not in my hand luggage!! How stupid can one be? There simply was no way that I could get hold of my friends in New Jersey, or Cher's husband Randy and she was of course on the road back to Eugenia by that time. So all I could do was sit and wait and worry!! Do you realise how long a five-hour nightmare can be? Well this was only the beginning. More than five hours later we eventually departed and by that time I was a nervous wreck because it was three hours after my expected arrival time in Newark. The time? 19:00 on a Friday afternoon! Arriving at Newark I expected to go through customs to the baggage claim area but could not find the customs counter and the baggage claim area seemed to be miles away. I was completely lost and everything looked vastly different to what I remembered from my arrival at Newark when I came from South Africa. (Later I would find out I had arrived at a different terminal when I flew in from South Africa). Most of the signs at the airport were taken down due to the building alterations and there were hordes of people mulling around. I got my bag, found the phone numbers and set off to the Continental Airways information desk only to find a queue that looked like it was about a mile long!! There was NO way that I would join THAT queue! I got hold of a security guard and explained to him what happened to me and asked him to phone Merle for me. He was very friendly and went up to a phone and started dialling the number. I could see that he was dialling the wrong number!! GRRRR!! But he kept on telling me that the number changes after hours and insisted that he got no reply!! Then I decided to go to the main entrance to see if Merle was not by any means waiting for me at the curb All the time I had to lug my heavy bag along and I had to use the lifts and not the escalator. It took me ages to find the lifts that were hidden behind partitions. I walked along the length of the kerb but there was no sign of anyone waiting for me. I asked about six people to help me and they were either foreigners or Spanish-speaking people who could not understand me. By that time I had been walking about in Newark airport for close to an hour. I even tried to get a taxi to Randolph but the lady at the desk also could hardly understand me and was very non-co-operative and telling me all the time that a taxi to Randolph would be too expensive!! I was crying with frustration!! Then in tears and at the end of my tether I approached another security guard who told me to get hold of anyone wearing a red jacket at or near the Continental desk. Hallelujah!! I found this red-jacketed angel!! I could immediately sense her concern observing this tear-strained lost soul!! She simply took her cell phone and started dialling the number telling me not to move away from her. It was the right number and Merle answered immediately! Everyone was upset by that time but eventually this lady took me right to where my friends were waiting for me at the baggage claim area! They thought I had missed the flight in Toronto! Needless to say there was nothing strange about the weather in Newark it was a bright, sunny, hot day with no bad weather! The nightmare was over but my confidence in coping on my own as a semi-deafie in strange places amongst foreigners was shattered!! We went home with me now still teary eyed, exhausted and feeling very sorry for myself and annoyed for causing my friends all this trouble. It could have been so different if I only had the common sense to keep their phone numbers in my hand luggage!! Then I could have asked somebody to phone on my behalf from Toronto to make alternative arrangements. So, lesson number one: Keep phone numbers ready even if you cannot use a telephone!! Don't be too assertive and think that you will find someone to listen and help when you get stuck!! The "listeners" may also not be able to understand you and there are lots of people out there in the strange wide world who have no idea how to help deaf people!! They just shy away and look the other way when they hear that you cannot hear! You can almost see their minds ticking away "Shame! She is "Deaf and Dumb'". Or they walk away and tell you to wait where you are and never return!! That happened to me about ten times in one afternoon!! Lesson number two: Don't be shy to ask for assistance and attach yourself to anyone willing to help like a blood-sucking tick!! Lesson number three: Sometimes it is beneficial to start crying and stop trying to act bravely. Few people can ignore and not be sorry for a feeble, lost, crying woman. Well after awakening from this nightmare I was at least street-wise about air travel on my own!! |
Part SixA party in our honour Visiting my good friend Cher in Canada was one of the things that I looked forward to most before I left. We built up a friendship by writing e-mails to each other for a long time before my departure. My friends in New Jersey could not understand that I was so anxious to visit a person "that I'd never met before", forgetting that I also did not know them a mere week ago. Someone commented it was a "brave" thing to do. One of the things that I looked forward to most before I left on my journey was to meet some very dear friends that came into my life through communicating on various CI/HOH forums on the internet. Some of these people became very good friends who supported me through rough times before and especially after my rather disappointing hook-up over the past eighteen months. Then I received a wonderful message from Linda Stock, the Scrabble Quail, telling me Jazzy wanted to arrange a party in my honour to meet some of the SWC (Say What Club) folks. Well I read about Jazzy's parties a short while before when I joined SWC but knew nothing about her. I could hardly believe that someone who did not know me and had never been in contact with me would do this? Fortunately I knew about the power of e-mails for securing new friendships!! I immediately wrote and she confirmed the party was on it was only a matter of deciding on a date that would suit both of us, and we started making arrangements. By the time I arrived in Newark we only had to finalise directions for Merle to get my friend Ruth and me to Little Falls on the 16th of June 2001. That was the Saturday after my return to New Jersey from Canada and my nightmare experience at Newark Airport. On the day of the party it was raining on our way to Little Falls and it was hot and humid. I was feeling a little sorry for Jazzy about this being aware of how the weather could spoil a gathering of thirty odd people in a confined space. Especially since we were invited not to forget our swimwear when coming to the party. That was before I knew how well organised she indeed was for her famous parties!! I immediately recognised Jazzy's beautiful home from her description when we arrived but was not sure whether I should go around the house or approach the front door. I was sure that everyone would be gathered at the pool area and was wondering if Jazzy would hear the front door bell. Aren't we forever aware of the inconveniences that complicate the lives of deaf/HOH people - such as not being able to hear your own doorbell? I need not have been worried about that because unlike in South Africa Americans have access to so many assistive devices that we don't have here or struggle to get hold of. Things like strobe lights for doorbells. This was just a reminder that my own doorbell will still be out of order when I return home after my trip. The next moment Jazzy was at the front door with an exclamation that I would hear very often in the weeks to come: "Oh, are YOU Wia?" Well my own thoughts were: "So this is Jazzy! What a fine lady and obviously geared for fun!" Then my brain had to go in overdrive to start putting names to faces. The first person I started looking for was Linda because I knew that she and Dick would be there and I had seen a photo of her before. Then also Neil and Dianeand Lorie"who else"? Oh yes! and we had to find landing space for the South African milk tarts that I made for dessert. Then Jazzy started introducing me and we moved out to the deck where a number of people were already gathered. A few hugs later I was talking to Linda and Lorie Singer, immediately giving an update on the status of my CI map!! I had just been to David Shipp in Toronto the previous day for a new map and I was NOT doing well with this particular map. To top it all the strange accents did not make it any easier too. I just had time to more or less get used to the Canadian accents a mere week before and now had to concentrate hard again to pick up American accents again. While in Randolph with Ruth's children the accents were not such a problem since they all still retained much of their South African English accents that I am familiar with. Time sped by and before I knew where I was I promised to forward recipes for the milk tarts and had my little note book out to start writing down more e-mail addy's! The easiest for me was one-on-one conversations and I realised that there was no way that I would be able to talk to everybody or even remember all the names. I found it real hard to converse with some of the people because of the accents once again and simply not being used to so many people with hearing loss all bunched together. However it did not deter me from securing more friendships and I knew that once again wonderful friends were entering my life. Needless to say the food was excellent, the company great and the ambiance of Jazzy's beautiful home super. We talked about hearing loss, a little about politics in South Africa, eating habits and food, our jobs, our homes our families and friendsbuilding memories as time sped by. I found myself more or less in one to one conversations or part of smaller groups for most of the evening as people almost queued to have a word with me. The only real bad thing was: so little time so much to say. It was my first experience of meeting a deaf
blind person too and my heart was filled with gratitude and compassion
when I saw how bravely Susan handled a loss that was so much
more severe than my own. It humbled me and I felt blessed and
secure amongst these wonderful people who not only shared a similar
challenge but was more set on enhancing the lives of others with
their truly amazing sense of humour and zest for life! Far too
soon it was time for some of the guests to leave. Continued next month ... |
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