You know you have more work on accepting hearing loss when:

The responses: Page Three

Various members of the SayWhatClub
Copyright 2002

Linda Grasnick Bob, While you may still have some work to do in learning to accept your hearing loss, I can't agree with your statement, "Why can't I simply accept my hearing loss condition? My attitude should be, 'If it bothers you, it is your problem, not mine.'" Acceptance does not equate with saying, "f*** you" to the world -- and to anyone who is inconvenienced by your hearing loss. Acceptance includes acknowledging the realities of the situation -- and that includes acknowledging that the loss is a problem (at least an inconvenience) for both you AND FOR THE PEOPLE WITH WHOM YOU COMMUNICATE! Communication problems are problems for both parties who are trying to exhange information, not just for one or the other. Until those of us with hearing loss come to terms with that reality -- and the need for a few social skills to gracefully accommodate the needs of our companions who are affected by our hearing loss -- there will always be friction between those who do and do not hear well. It's not just the rest of the world that needs to make accommodations for us. We need to make some accommodations for the rest of the world to help them with their problems communicating with us. Social skills are a necessary part of the deal, like it or not. Going a little further, I think courtesy and consideration for others is part of the fabric of a civil society. It should simply be a part of the way you view and interact with other people on a daily basis. Hearing loss is no excuse for rudeness.

Debbie Foreman Bob.... I wrestled and anguished over that same question for several years. I came to one conclusion, in fact the ONLY conclusion I could think of. You know what that was and, by the way, still is? I finally came to the realization that, no matter what, NOTHING would ever change <outside of a miracle> the fact that I AM DEAF. Doesn't matter that I have hearing aids because once they come off....silence enters. There are actually times when I WELCOME that silence. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I've made peace with the silence. I hope this, in some small way, helps you. Debbie Jones Bob, I know the feeling. You are very lucky that your wife was willing to talk to you about your behavoir. Some spouses don't have the patience to go that far. I am not talking about hearing loss people either.(a new label!!) I am talking about everybody in general. Everybody is going to have something that they don't like about themselves. It's easy to take it out one other because of it. I think commication is the best thing anybody can do. I hope this is making you feel better. I am trying to say is that you are normal. I get my feelings hurt because my hubby will be with a bunch of hearing people and not thinking that I like to be clued in on what's going on. Then I am quilty for not explaining to him why I would like for him to do that because I know he doesn't want to do it and I don't like to remind him of my hearing loss at times.

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