Various members of the SayWhatClub
Copyright 2002
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Susan Dent Wow, like I am going to let this slip by???? NOT!! Ya, we are people. And people should treat each other with consideration and respect (yes, I wear rose colored glasses: called HOPE). I totally disgaree with the fault comment. It is not my fault that I have (or any of us, for that matter) a hearing loss. It is a fact. Plain and simple . Maybe not nice to live with, but what other choice do we have? We are here/alive. We cheer each other on via SWC, and we can post our hurt or confusion here too. But, we do, each day live with the fact that we have hearing loss. To recap a bit of Bob EEE's post, about accepting hearing loss: you have to (in my own humble opinion) be prepared to forgive yourself for hearing mistakes, inabilitiy, whatever. If we don't forgive ourselves (guess some could call it the first step to acceptance of how we are put together) how the heck can we expect anyone else to forgive us.....be patient with us, repeat things for us......etc. While we should forgive ourselves, we should also be as independent as we can be. do what we can, in our own way. What does it matter how we do it (meaning: ALD's, ha's, CI's, ASL, writing notes, etc) as long as we do it??????? Back to the people thought: we all should act courteously, with consideration. We should model the behavior we need to hear our best. We should do our best to not interrupt others, we should not call out to others when they are not within seeing distance to talk (like, in another room). To me it is simply courtesy and good manners, that goes a long way in communicating, hearing loss or no. And as to our feeling bad, etc: I think most of us are very stressed just by trying to hear. Hearing is a very basic PROTECTION that nature gave to humans. When our hearing is compromised, we feel threatened. Maybe we don't label it as such, but we are stressed because we have to work hard at what others with normal hearing do as easily as breathing. It just happens. For us, hearing doesn't just happen. We work at it. Work creates stress. Add to the that, the feeling of inferiority a lot of hearing impaired people feel. The list just goes on and on. When we feel bad, we act badly. We are short tempered, quick in our nasty responses, etc. Not necessarily on purpose either, but that doesn't take away from the "attitude" that results from stress. If we want to promote the idea that we are just people, let's act like considerate people. And not just demanding people who need accommodations because. I wish all of society could just be more considerate, and have things happen because we want the best for each other, and not because someone has to ask. Make sense?? |
Edeltraut Scheffler Transfer the thoughts about your dilemma to other people in more unfortunate situations. Be thankful for what you still have and can do. Don't take yourself too seriously - it's your choice to bear it all with grace, or make a sour face! That part about the sipper on your backpack reminded me of a gentleman standing in front of me in a streetcar with the sipper of his pants open! When I got up to leave, I whispered: "You better close your sipper." It makes me laugh to think it could have been t h a t sipper in your case. Your "So what?" would hardly have been appropriate. Edeltraut Scheffler (reply two) When the Prophet does not go to the Mountain - the Mountain comes to the Prophet. ( Or something like that. ) Hi Bob, I know, you were not satisfied with my response, it was short and to the point. What you needed was reassurance, tender advise. I could not give that in many words. Having just come out of a deep hole myself, I have to fight to stay strong, to bear it all with grace. I do know, how you feel, believe me - you want normalcy. It is very hard to deal with - being left out, getting frustrated, etc. As a perfectionist, a problem solver - I know, what you are going through - it is tough! Not being alone, having a wife who is understanding - is a big plus, especially when you are able - to clear the table (so to speak). I have learned to accept what I cannot change, and change - what I am able to change. I also found out - there will be always up and downs, which I have to take in stride. I work hard on - not to let things get to me. I must say - that is the hardest job! You need encouragement - be it from people, books - whatever. I believe in mind over matter. The crux of the matter is - you have to work on yourself daily. Wouldn't it be blissful - to know all the answers, work it all out, and you would never be bothered with the same old problems again? That's not how it works, what a pitty! You wrote: "Why should I allow being unable to hear normally dominate my thoughts and feelings? It is not going to go away. I am still a good person despite hearing loss?" Do not let those negative thoughts and feelings dominate your actions - always say "I can", instead of "I can't". (Of course - you can't do impossible things!) You definitely are a good person, no doubt about that! (Otherwise - Ling would not stand by your side.) :-) |
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