You know you have more work on accepting hearing loss when:

The responses: Page One

Various members of the SayWhatClub
Copyright 2002

BJ Holman Bob, for me, to work toward acceptance of the hearing loss is much like working on the acceptance of the loss of someone extremely close to me. Even that is really not a deep enough analogy. My hearing loss is a part of me that I cannot ignore, for it is as real as the sun that comes up in the morning. To move toward acceptance in the grieving process takes time and kindness to self. Actually, I think it might be a bit unreasonable to think that the process is ever complete. For there will always be times and situations that will bring the loss home. This is no different than that favorite dinner that so reminds one of a dear family member, the missing is there, but with time, not so intense. Grieving is a journey within itself. It is a time that we develop coping skills to deal with the lost....Coping doesn't mean that we don't feel the pain of the loss, it means that we develop skills to manage the loss. As for your response to Ling when she was assisting you, yes, that was an inappropriate response to her or anyone helping you with something. Now, that you are aware that the response hurts others as well as yourself, what you gonna do about it? You have choices, you can continue the behavior, or you can chose to respond differently. For me, it is important not to get the grieving process tangled up with inappropriate behavior. We feel the anger, frustrations, sadness, all kinds of emotions and that is appropriate, but what we do with those feelings and emotions is our choice. So are the consequences. My question to you would be....are you angry about the hearing loss, or is it a loss of control?

Rhoda Mead Bob, a very real and important question to all of us. No one answer, as we are each different. Your honesty with this is touching to me. For me, acceptance of loss is a process. I protest each new loss of hearing vigorously. Then I feel sad and grieving, and then, move on. I learn new ways to cope, etc. I don't enjoy my body and mind aging, either. Have made a decision to continue to do the best I can with who I am at all times. It is a conscious decision to allow the Joy that can come with true acceptance to surface. To be curious about whatever happens, rather than try to control it. To not be ruled in my soul by the conditions of life, since they are largely not in my control. Hmm. Sorry, not making sense. Don't have the words to express it. Rachel Remen, in Kitchen Table Wisdom talks about acceptance of life-threatening illness, and it is easily applied to deafness as well. Penny Olson Hi Bobee. Well put. My big problem is the phone.. I do not like the shrew I become. Far too often I will not answer the phone and let the machine take it. Talking to friends is not a major problem. I hate to use the phone. I tense up so understanding is not easy. Working on it.

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