Pat Dougherty
Copyright 2001
Editor's note: Pat is the mother of SWCer Kathy Bradicich; Kathy
was fifteen years old at the time this was written.
"Your daughter is deaf, she can't hear." I heard the doctor as she spoke these words but it was as if my consciousness wouldn't let me believe it. I stood there feeling as though I had been hit on the head with a sledgehammer. I couldn't answer the doctor or comment as she continued to discuss Kathy's deafness with me as if she were positive I already knew. I sat listening and trying to pretend I knew what she was saying. When she spoke to Kathy without voice I nearly cried. Kathy was four years old and for a year I had been coming back and forth to the Speech and Hearing Clinic with her for testing. My family doctor suggested the Clinic when I voiced concern over Kathy's inability to speak in sentences when her sister, who is a year younger, was using sentences and holding conversations. There were indications that Kathy couldn't hear but I convinced myself she was just inattentive. She seemed to understand commands and at times would respond to noises and she did say a few words. I have always been an avid reader and had read about children who were slow developing because of some sort of deprivation at home. I preferred to believe her slowness was due to the fact that Kathy had two baby sisters by the time she was 2 and a half. It was only in later years when I understood the dynamics of the autistic child that I realized now fortunate we were that this was not her problem. I shudder now to think that I could entertain such an idea. Though strides have been made in the treatment of the autistic child, there are still those who just can't be reached and spend their lives in the lonely solitude.
Kathy's deafness was a treatable handicap, she could be taught to function in society almost as well as the hearing person. She had been tested for every imaginable condition before the hospital concluded that she was definitely deaf. There were psychological tests and complete physicals in order to rule out any organic disorders that would affect her speech. In conjunction with the testing program, Kathy began Speech Therapy at the Clinic. I was advised to place her in a part-time nursery school to give her the opportunity to be with other children her age and to encourage her to use speech. Of course during this time, every little bit of speech that Kathy used would reinforce my belief that she could hear. I had a friend whose daughter was Kathy's age and she too was slow in talking. Her doctor told her not to worry, that her daughter would talk when she was ready. Thank goodness, I didn't give up going to the clinic; there were times when I was so tired of all the traveling, having to take the children by bus and train to the city, sit in the hospital waiting room for hours on end, try to cope with small infants and a toddler. At times it was almost beyond endurance but I persisted and I am grateful for it today.
When we knew for sure Kathy was deaf, the hospital fitted her with hearing aids. She looked so small and vulnerable with those two big buttons sticking out of her ears and the wires connected to two little boxes. I think it was more difficult for me to get used to the hearing aids than it was for Kathy. I kept her hair long and curled it over her ears. I had to get over the idea that something terrible had happened to me personally. Kathy was the one with the handicap and she had to adjust to society with it. My attitude was not going to help her adjustment. When this thought finally got through to me, only then was I able to help my daughter. She continued to attend the nursery school and gradually, with the help of the Speech therapy she was getting at the Clinic weekly, she began to talk more and more.
When she was five, she entered the hospital for a Tonsil and Adenoid operation. She had been subject to colds and infected tonsils for a few years so the operation was indicated. I harbored a secret hope that the operation would restore her hearing. Her health was improved but her hearing remained the same. Trying to overcome my own self-pity was not made any easier by the rest of the family. My father's eyes filled with tears when I told him of Kathy's deafness, and her paternal grandparents insisted on my bringing her to a famed ear specialist in New York who had perfected an operation to restore the hearing in a particular type of deafness. He told me there was nothing he could do for Kathy and the best course to follow was the one already set down by the clinic.
Kathy attended kindergarten in a normal public school and received supplementary speech therapy there. The clinic people decided that Kathy should attend a normal school because it afforded Kathy the opportunity to associate with the kind of people she would live and work with as an adult. The disadvantage of the private school for the handicapped child is that it does not equip the child for a future with normal people. It is difficult for a child to adapt to an environment so completely different from the one he or she has always known. Consequently he or she either seeks out people with similar handicaps for a companionship or he/she becomes isolated. I now know the Clinic put a lot of faith in me, as a child with a handicap cannot function well in a normal environment without a lot of help and assistance from their family.
When Kathy was ready for first grade I placed her in a parochial school, which, though I have nothing against the parochial school, was a mistake, as they were ill equipped to handle the particular problem of the handicapped child. Kathy spent the whole term in the back of the room with the teacher practically ignoring her. I complained and was assured that something would be done, but it wasn't until the second grade that they put her in with a teacher who was sympathetic to Kathy's handicap, having had experience teaching deaf children previously. This wonderful woman was only one of many who had a hand in giving Kathy the start she needed.
About this time Kathy started to wear hearing aids that were worn behind the ears. The aids were less cumbersome than the body aids she had been wearing and boosted her hearing a little. She was also being prepared for receiving First Holy Communion and for this I had to take her for special Religious instructions in order to aid her in the understanding of the Religious concepts she was supposed to know in order to receive the Sacrament. The Sisters of St Joseph held this special instruction on Saturday morning in a School for the Deaf. These instructions not only aided Kathy in her Religious knowledge but also reinforced her whole learning process.
In the third grade I hired a private tutor for Kathy to give her extra help in those areas where she had difficulty with communication. By that time there were four children and in order to help with finances I began to work leaving me little time to help Kathy with her studies. In spite of the tutoring she was receiving, Kathy just managed to get by and more than once I suggested that perhaps her education would be better served in the private school. The Clinic was adamant and discouraged me every time I brought it up. They had more faith in me than I had in myself.
Kathy was twelve and entering sixth grade when the separation of her father and I necessitated my placing the children in public school. It was to her advantage that I did as that gave her the opportunity to receive special tutoring from a teacher from the School for the Deaf in N.Y. who was assigned to Kathy's school to aid her with her studies, another addition to the list of people responsible for Kathy's success in school. Kathy managed to pick up in her studies with the tutor's help and went on to Jr. High School an emotionally secure child. We moved to the suburbs and Kathy continued to do well in school with the assistance of the special teachers.
I had remarried the year of 1969, when Kathy was 15 and we are now a family of eight, we have my husband's two children by a previous marriage living with us as well as my four. We are all working hard; I am still working and all the children assist my husband and me with household chores. We wanted to give the children a home of their own and we all have to work to make it possible. Kathy will be 16 this June, she is a lovely teenager, with long brown hair that may or may not cover her hearing aids and it doesn't matter, as she is completely unselfconscious about them. She is well adjusted, sociable, and has her share of male admirers. She still requires extra assistance with her schoolwork and may have to attend a remedial school, after graduation from High School in order to attend College, but she accepts as she has learned to accept all that extra help she has had to have in order to be successful in school. Kathy has come a long way since that day 12 years ago when the doctor told me that she was deaf. It hasn't always been easy but all of it has certainly been worth it.
I am so thankful that I was persuaded to persist in maintaining Kathy in a normal speaking and hearing environment. One person who especially deserves accolades for the help she has given Kathy over the years is Miss Margaret Soissen. She has guided Kathy's progress since she first started with the therapy at the NY Hospital. She has always convinced me to try a little longer, a little harder, because she knew the ultimate result.
Kathy is looking forward to working this summer, either as a counselor in a camp for deaf children, or as an office clerk, whichever job materializes. She studied typing this past year and can type quite well. She is also an inspiration to two sisters in her school who are deaf and have never gotten used to wearing their hearing aids and consequently cannot use speech as well as Kathy can. They would never wear their aids until they realized how much better off they would be by observing Kathy's ability to communicate as a result of wearing hearing aids. To look at her and to talk to her, you would never be able to detect the fact that she is deaf unless you saw the aids. She is deaf just the same, she cannot hear anything without the aids and when she is tested the audiologist is amazed at the extent of her hearing loss because of her ability to speak so well. All due to the fact that we did persist and we kept her in a normal environment but reinforced it with extra help and therapy. I am thankful for all the people who had a hand in the shaping and molding of my lovely teenager who will be able to function well in society in spite of a severe hearing loss.
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