© 2009
Dear Maggie
I have a good friend who is a very nice gentleman. We go to dinner and a movie once a week. He even pays for me.
However, my gentleman friend has a terrible habit. It always happens while we are eating dinner in a restaurant. All of a sudden, he can be in the middle of eating a spare rib when, he drops the rib, rips his hearing aid out from his ear and sticks his finger deep into his ear canal to scratch an itch. He then pulls out a Q-tip from his pocket and sticks it into the ear canal to clean his ear. When he's finished, he always drops the Q-tip onto the table and then he pats my hand and says "I got that itch".... What can you recommend for his itchy ears?
From concerned girlfriend
First things first girlfriend,
Nothing smaller than a tongue ever goes into an ear canal.
Second, before leaving the apartment, I suggest you frisk him and confiscate the Q-tips. Q-tips in a restaurant are a no-no.
And last but not least, if you're going to put up with such poor behavior, he should at least take you out twice a week and with a rule of NO-TOUCHING after the ear plucking.
Oh and by the way, concerning a remedy for the itchy ear, tell him to see his ENT Doctor for the itch.
DISCLAIMER: The Dear Maggie column is for "entertainment purposes" ONLY and should be viewed as such. But just in case you need to know, Dear Maggie is a bright, intelligent, gossipy, insightful wo-mon who takes pride in hearing (tongue in cheek) her own words come out of her mouth. Maggie will tell it like it is, hold the mirror up to your face and make you see what you don't want to see. Maggie is neither a licensed professional nor bartender and you should feel free to seek other opinionated people's advice.