Jan Christensen
Copyright 2000
There is a dearth of information about how families deal with their hard of hearing relatives. And that is a shame because hearing loss invariably leads to isolation. So, we don't find out how others cope and how their families react. Below are four personalstories from SWC-World members about how their families have positively responded to their hearing losses:
"I have super women in my family. When I went suddenly deaf, my niece came to the house and said, "I'm paying for us to take sign language classes together." I said "WHAT?"She said, "You'll see!" And I did. I saw how much she cared and how much fun life was when you had someone to practice with! (She found her profession, by the way, and became an interpreter.) She also called my daughters who lived elsewhere and told them about the classes and how I was learning (both to sign and lip-read) and not so scared anymore.
"Both daughters immediately signed up for classes. And one-son-in law also signed up! I learned to read lips VERY well, but what a joy it is not to have to do it all the time in noisy or dark places! Please, don't assume any of us are by any means proficient! We're not! But we do communicate thoughts and concepts. And more importantly to me they are communicating LOVE! What special women I have who give of themselves!"
"I've always been severely HOH, so my four children all grew up with my lack of hearing. They learned to adapt, learned that they had to face me, or I wouldn't understand them. Their friends also learned this. I asked my youngest (17) on the drive into school this morning, if he or the others had ever been embarrassed because I couldn't hear. He was taken aback, thought for about two seconds and said no. He said at times it was frustrating lately, as I have more trouble understanding him, and he has to repeat more often, but embarrassed--never. I never asked them for special help, but when they got older they just did it, especially with the phone. I think my just acting like it was natural for me mad ethe difference in their attitude. I might say I can't hear or understand something, but I never moaned and groaned about it."
We were getting cranky, so I went to a Dollar Store, and bought a ping pong ball gun. It shoots those light balls instead of water. It started to be FUN to get my attention when I am cooking, and turn aids off because banging noises get painful. It worked! Next day, I went back and got a couple more guns and a lot of pingpong balls in wild colors, and we had some ping pong ball fights. Not cranky for a while in a motor home.
"My husband encourages me to get every single device that can help me hear better. The PocketTalker. A cell phone with a telecoil loop. A telephone that has a volume control. Earphones for the stereo/CD player. Plus he makes sure he has my attention before speaking, and speaks directly to me. He repeats endlessly."
Not all of us are as fortunate. But part of the responsibility rests on our own shoulders. We must tell family members what we need to better communicate with them. We ourselves have to learn different communication skills.
Fortunately, as members of the SayWhatClub, we learn from each other. I hope some of these stories can help you!
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