© 2007
by Elaine Procida
It did not take me long to notice that there was something different about this trip even though it was similar to others I have been on sponsored by the same agency, Senior Citizens United Community Services. Maybe it was the fact that everyone getting on the bus was sitting from row seven to the back. I figured it was because the group of 23 people that we were to pick up at the church in Marlton had been assigned to the first six rows.
After picking up the 23 members of St. Joan of
I will be honest and tell you that, on the first day and even part of the second, if there had been a way to get home, I would have done so and left the trip. I was feeling very “left out and lonely.” And the feeling was probably made worse because it brought back memories of my childhood.
As a small child, I was friendly and outgoing and enjoyed being with people. Around age 4, I started to lose my hearing and gradually lost my ability to participate normally with the other children and adults in my life. So the trip was bringing back unhappy memories of being an outcast and not fitting in anyplace. It was a feeling that lasted up until my mid-30s when I learned that, to a large extent, how people treat me depends on how I treat myself. And I knew that how much I enjoyed this trip would depend on my not going back to childhood feelings, but to put what I have learned as an adult into practice. So I just became my normal friendly self and gradually I noticed that people seemed to notice me and to become more friendly with me.
There was another reason why I think my status was enhanced. The Hudson Valley Resort and Spa did not have any good places to walk. Now, I am a walker and no way was I going to go all the way up there and not enjoy the outdoors. The hotel had a very beautiful, very large golf course with a large sign “no walkers, only golfers.” I figured they put that sign there to protect themselves in case some walker got clobbered with a golf ball, and I disregarded the sign and walked through the golf course. And it was a beautiful experience. There were many paths through the golf course, with no indication which to follow. But I had three days to experiment and on the second day, coming around a line of trees I saw a beautiful lake with large different colored trees and a flock of what seemed like thousands of geese sitting there. It was just a totally peaceful scene to enjoy, especially when the geese, seeing this human approaching, started to walk away and then, as one, they all took off in a beautiful formation and honking their heads off.
When I told the people in my group what I had seen, they were impressed. Some of them did start walking on the golf course but I don’t think any of them went to the very end as I had. And I noticed that I was becoming more and more popular.
Finally on the last day we were back on the bus heading home. As we got near home, one of the members of the church group told me to give them my name and address and to make sure I come to their once-a-month social. Later, before getting off the bus, a member of the line dancers asked me for my name and address so she could let me know if they are going on another trip and I might like to come along. And I thought to myself, nothing is ever carved in stone. Just as I was able to escape from the effects of my hearing loss, what we become depends to a large degree on our ability to change the writing on the stone of life.