Another day is starting today,
I closed the door on yesterday.
Forget I will -- the pain it brought,
The fear I felt -- from hurtful thought.
It sadly only made me cry,
Wondering, and asking why
The pain -- relief
Was far too brief.
No answer did I ever get
Therefore, I decided to let
The door stay closed on yesterday --
I want to enjoy today --
With a song in my heart
Fearlessly -- I will start,
Let it ring loud and clear --
It doesn’t matter that I can’t hear.
A smile it will bring to my face,
With courageous grace
I might even approach a lonely stranger
Feeling -- there is no danger.
My joyful mood I want to share
Without a care --
It’s futile to dwell on the past,
That only clutters the mind and cast
Dark shadows over my soul,
Which I want to keep whole.
Yes, I closed the door on yesterday --
Truly happy it made me today.
I know -- the power is within me
To truly let this be
A lesson learned --
Far too long have I yearned
A happy path to travel
All sadness to unravel.
Five senses -- there used to be;
One has faded away recently:
The precious sense of hearing.
There is no way of clearing,
Restoring it to its former use.
Hurtful abuse
I have to take
That makes me shake --
Yet, with a smile
I go the extra mile:
Pretend I am all right --
Although, I have to fight
The tears from flowing,
Or anger, that is growing
Overwhelmingly inside of me.
Not a one can ever see
How much this invisible disability
Is torturing me.
My head I hold up high
With a silent sigh.
Let my voice ring, ring, ring
Loud and clear, clear, clear
Because you can hear, hear, hear
How lucky you are, are, are
Neither from close by nor far, far, far
Does a sound enter my ear, ear, ear
That I am able to hear, hear, hear
Deaf are my ears, ears, ears
A fact that brings on fears, fears, fears
Makes me want to crawl, crawl, crawl
From this dilemma to fall, fall, fall
Into a deep hole, hole, hole
To silence my tortured soul, soul, soul
Agony I have to fight, fight, fight
Every day and night, night, night
Tired I get, but can’t sleep, sleep, sleep
Instead I angrily weep, weep, weep
That does not help, help, help
I would like to yelp, yelp, yelp
Like a dog in pain, pain, pain
But even that would be in vain, vain, vain
So, let me sing, sing, sing
You may laugh at the ring, ring, ring
That sounds distorted to you, you, you
You may even boo, boo, boo
It would be a pleasure for me, me, me
On your faces to see, see, see
The impact my voice made, made, made
I would let my worries fade, fade, fade
Happy I would be, be, be
For once to be free, free, free
To let my voice ring, ring, ring
And sing, sing, sing
Not feeling hurt by a frown, frown, frown
That silences me, puts me down, down, down
Up I lift my face, face, face
With joyful grace, grace, grace
I end my song, song, song
Whether it sounded right or wrong, wrong, wrong
You be grateful if even with only one ear, ear, ear
You still are able to hear, hear, hear, hear, hear, hear.
The way it used to be:
He: "May I have this dance, please?"
(Music playing a Polka)
She: "Yes, certainly."
He: "You are a lovely dancer."
She: "Thank you, you dance very well yourself."
He: "I like your dress. It’s very becoming."
She: "Thank you."
He: "Will you reserve the next dance for me, please?"
She: "Certainly, I like your style."
End of dance: Gallantly he leads her back to her chair.
The way it is today:
He: "Come on."
(Music playing Rock & Roll)
She: "Sure."
He: "Live alone?"
She: "Yes, how ‘bout you?"
He: "Me too."
She: "Why you ask?"
He: "I want to sleep with you."
She: "Sure, my place or yours?"
He: "My joint."
In haste they leave the dance-floor.
Somewhere I read
Something that fed
My inquiring mind
With some kind
Of special food
That guided my mood
From a downward slide
To an upper ride
Of peaceful thought
That brought
The needed understanding
I was demanding.
"God" -- I read --
"Let me shed
Some light,
Great insight
On that word,
Which like a sword
Is used at times
To keep in lines
Unruly people
From some high steeple.
"God" -- it pointed out
"Is all about
Good and Evil --
God and the Devil.
Within our being both dwell;
It’s up to us to quell
The Evil -- that harmful Devil,
Let the Good come to the fore
Which opens the door
To peace and happiness,
Undermining the Devil’s success!"
To know -- it’s up to me
To make me free
From harmful, useless thought
Finally brought
Peace to my mind --
That I yearned to find.
Not a day goes by
on which I do not think about you all.
With joy I do recall
the precious times we spent in harmony,
where I could feel the love around me.
If that means -- living in the past,
that is far better than the vast emptiness
which surrounds me now!
Back and forth I travel --in my mind --
eager to unravel, and dwell in --
the happiness we shared.
We cared for one another!
Remembering those happy times of long ago
gives me the needed strength
to lift the heavy burden -- cast upon me,
which no one else can see,
because it is an invisible disability
that I am afflicted with.
I did my best to hide a lot.
Now it got too hard to handle,
just with a smile to bear the pain.
I can not do it anymore and therefore,
have to stay away from situations
being put -- without consideration --
to bite off more -- than I can chew!
BACK to Table of Contents