For Joanie-

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for pro-choice.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for pro-choice.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for pro-choice.

Joanie was a nurse and she was a Catholic.

The Pope said abortion was a sin.

The Church said abortion was a sin.

Joanie said, NO!

Joanie worked in an abortion clinic. She counselled women and helped them prepare for the abortion they were about to have. Amish women had to understand what pain was... Yes, Joanie worked in upstate New York and she even counselled Amish women on how to deal with abortions they were about to have...

She was a nurse first as well as a humanist.

She believed that children should be wanted; that women had rights and that they should be respected.

She was a woman who felt her rights weren't respected.

She'd been violated by a horrible disease.

She'd been eaten alive. Her rights to live and love as fully sexual human being were stripped from her.

Joanie had NF2. I have a hard time remembering that name, she had to live with it day in and day out. Neurofibromatosis, neurofibromatosis, neurofibromatosis, neurofibromatosis, all day long every day as it grew and grew and stripped her of her humanity. Stripped her of her rights and privilege to live as an independent human being. Stripped her of her hearing, stripped her of her ability to walk. Stripped her of her ability to talk, to communicate and participate fully in a hearing world.

She lived with her mom. I can't live with my mom. I can't spend even a week in the same house with her. I can say that I, generally, get along with my mom. I don't have NF2. I don't need to live with someone. It's my choice. Joanie had no choice. She hated being dependent on anyone. She couldn't become independent of her mother.

Her mother knew that. Her mother understood Joanie better then Joanie would allow herself to believe. How could a mother understand a daughter if the daughter was born with NF2? How could a mother give birth to a child with NF2? What a horrible, unforgivable thing to do!

It wasn't her fault. She only carried you for nine months and gave birth to a sweet baby. She couldn't know that you would be stricken with that disease. She loved her child.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for pro-choice.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for pro-choice.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for pro-choice.

Joanie understood what was happening to her body, that it would eventually destroy her. She didn't know exactly how, but she knew what was coming. How could a mother give birth to her child if that child has NF2? How could a mother bear to do that to her child?

Women have a right to choose. They are not just for making babies. They are human beings who have a choice to love and work and live up to their full potential. No questions asked.

Did Joanie have that right? Was she allowed to have relationships with men? Was she allowed to think about pro-creating? Or was that denied her because of the dread thought that she, too, would spread NF2 to her offspring? Did living with her mother prevent her from having a fling, a one night stand, any sort of sexual relationship whether long term or short term at all? If she lived at home, she was denied her right to partake in the normal human ritual that most of us take for granted. Her, raging, tumor producing, body kept her from partaking of the mating ritual for which she was so fond. She loved flirting. She loved innuendo. She loved blatantly making advances to the men she knew... But could she allow herself anything else...? Did she have to live alone with her sexuality? She met men. She enjoyed being with men... but never anything long term. Nothing serious while I knew her...

Joanie, you flirted; you angered; you were out there. We loved you. We respected you and we gave to you what we could. You networked; you e-mailed; you chatted; you made us all aware of how full of life you were. You with your condoms. Safe SEX!!!! Enjoy yourselves, but keep it SAFE! Always the nurse.

Action = life
Silence = death
Fight AIDs!

Hey, I've passed out condoms too. I was part of a group that flew a giant condom outside of a party for a cardinal. We passed out condoms to the party goers as they were leaving. Some really appreciated it... The police created a human blockade. They thought we were causing harm. They thought we were going to hurt someone... By passing out condoms?

Action = life
Silence = death
Fight AIDs!

We were going to meet at a convention. Maybe this year, maybe next. We wanted to meet. We wanted to get to know more about each other. Then, just before San Diego, you had a tumor removed. You had lost your hearing, your ability to work. Now you lost your ability to walk. You were given a certain kind of freedom though. You were moved away from your mother, but to where? To a home... To a place where most people end up after they retire. And you were young... Too young to be able to stand living in a place like that. You were free from your mother, at least...

Then, you decided to come to L.A. You had a tumor to be removed and you wanted to hear something again. The House Ear Institute... world reknown. That's what I'd heard. I'd gotten hearing aids from them, but they became a zoo, so I stopped going there.

Well, they were going to save you. Make you better. I wanted to meet you Joanie. I wanted you to come. We were thinking of having dinner together. We were making plans. It was going to be fun to finally meet and really know each other. Wow!

So, you came to Los Angeles. You were ten minutes from my home. I couldn't see you right away, but we did meet.

You were so tired, Joanie. You were tired of being in a wheel chair. You were tired of living in a home. You were tired of always needing someone to help you. You were tired of being deaf. You held your lip so I could understand what you had to say... The muscles wouldn't keep it up properly. You couldn't read. You could barely write. You couldn't breath. You were just exhausted. We talked for a while, then you went to see a movie. To relax.

I saw you one more time before the operation. This time I stayed only a few minutes. you were so tired; so scared; so alone. Yet, you had made it to Los Angeles. You had made it to Seton Hall. You had connected with your friends. One had just had a similar operation and he was OK.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for pro-choice..

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for pro-choice.

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for pro-choice.

Joanie, your friends talked about going to Church with you. You were interested in the priests, the bishops for what, Joanie? Not as advisors... No you knew that those priests were human beings and might want more than just to be counselors and sermonizers... Enjoy yourselves... but keep it safe! Many of your friends talked of praying. They prayed for you Joanie. We were all hoping for the best for you. Whether that would be ending things quickly or giving you another chance to be yourself, for a little bit longer.

Joanie, you made a choice. You wanted this operation. You wanted to hear, yet, there was something wrong. It was dangerous, most doctors wouldn't do it... You were so tired of fighting. Your sense of self was leaving you. Your identity as a vibrant, beautiful, strong and independent woman was taken away. Something had been broken. Something lost... You went through the operation, but it was tough. There were complications... Joanie, your mom came, but she came too late. She couldn't stay... You were showing signs of coming around, but she didn't stay...

Joanie, we loved you!

Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for pro-choice.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for pro-choice.

--- Margot Schindler-Ehrens